


Whatever It Takes

by lorenzobane



Category: Shadowhunters
Genre: (me too alec), Alec Does Not Like It when Magnus is Hurt, Established Relationship, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda fluff maybe?, M/M, Protective Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 08:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16991619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorenzobane/pseuds/lorenzobane
Summary: Magnus is somehow both stubborn and dying. A combination Alec is mostly convinced that no one else has mastered.





	Whatever It Takes

Magnus knows. Magnus knows. Magnus knows.   
  
            Until suddenly--   
  
                                             He doesn’t.   
  
And Alec knows better than most that Magnus’s moments of weakness, those rare moments he falters when he’s human in a way that Alec desperately wants to sink his teeth into because yes. He’s not alone. Magnus is here in the mud with him- struggling and making mistakes and fucking up.    
  
Those are the moments that people latch on to. It's unfair, and its cruel, centuries and centuries of being right more often than wrong somehow barely matter.   
  
What’s crazy, and what Alec hasn’t figured out how to say, is that he wants that. He wants the blood, and the tears, and the sweat on his brow. He thinks its ridiculously cute that Magnus bruises easily. That Alec barely needs to press his fingers into Magnus’s trim, muscular hips to leave bruises makes him happy. Mostly because... Well, mostly because he doesn’t want to seem like a crazy person.    
  
Intellectually, he knows that Magnus wakes up with morning breath and he needs to shit, just like any other human being. But Magnus just won’t show him.   
  
He tries his best to understand. He tries to imagine how he would respond to Magnus suddenly became cruel, the way Camille did. If a person who loved him, and helped him, and literally pulled him off the ledge, suddenly began corroding at his heart and his soul. If Alec is honest, he’s not entirely sure he’d ever recover.   
  
But Magnus did.   
  
He kept loving, and trusting and giving- and fuck. He wants to say all of this one day, he wants decades and decades to say the things he’s not ready to say yet.   
  
But Magnus is somehow both stubborn and dying. A combination he’s mostly convinced that no one else has mastered.   
  
“Let me in, Magnus,” Alec says, pounding on the magical separation for what feels like the thousandth time.   
  
Magnus glares at him, infuriatingly put together considering he has blood pouring down his mouth. “We have no proof I’m not going to kill you. We will wait until Isabelle is finished.”    
  
“Izzy,” he says to be contrary, “thinks that you shouldn’t be alone.”    
  
Because it’s a Warlock illness. Lilith, having figured out that Magnus is the one putting her evil plan together, decides to punish him. She corrupts the ley lines in such a sadistically specific way, so she’s physically ionizing Magnus from the inside out.    
  
Magnus shakes his head as much as he can and lays back down. The only victory he has won thus far is that Magnus should rest.    
  
“Magnus,” Alec tries again. “This is an illness designed for you. No one else can get hurt. I won’t be hurt. Please, let me be with you.”    
  
To hold you, to wipe the sweat from your brow, to be trusted by you.    
  
Magnus stares at him. “We don’t know that.”    
  
“Yes, we do!” Alec yells. “Everyone with more than two brain cells says so. So please, just... Drop the barrier. Let me be there.”    
  
Magnus stares at him again, and he looks ashamed. Weak. Alec hates it.    
  
“I... I’m not myself. I can’t... be me right now.”    
  
Alec glares at him. “You think I care? You could be projectile vomiting, and I would still want to be there.”    
  
Magnus glares back, “there is no need to be disgusting.”    
  
Alec rolls his eyes, “baby. I’m a shadowhunter. I am covered in disgusting fluids most of the day--”    
  
“Well, you’re really more of a bureaucrat now-”    
  
Alec doesn’t dignify that with a response. Instead, he leans back against the wall and stares at Magnus.    
  
“I don’t... It’s hard. I don’t want you to see me like this. Disgusting, and weak.”   
  
Alec responds, “you’ve never been disgusting.”    
  
They look at each other for a moment, and Magnus looks away. Well, to be fair more vomits away. Alec hates watching because he sees the bright red leave Magnus’s mouth and he knows that the blood loss is going to start getting bad. Magnus has been using spells to keep his blood pressure up, but sooner rather than later, he’s going to get tired.     
  
Magnus is quiet long enough that Alec just continues, “please. Magnus. I love you. Don’t... I can’t take it. You being in there, suffering alone. At least let me be with you.”    
  
The spell drops.    
  
Alec rushes to Magnus’s side before he can think, and Magnus looks terrible. There are times when they are fucking (”making love” his traitorous and obnoxious mind insist) Magnus has looked wrecked, panting and trusting and Alec’s.    
  
He doesn’t look like that now.    
  
He looks shattered, and Alec can’t fix him.    
  
He smells sick. Alec’s shadowhunter senses aren’t terribly helpful now, because he can smell the rot right under Magnus’s skin and he’s scared.    
  
“Magnus,’ he says, to distract himself. “Everyone is looking. Us, the Warlocks, the Vampires, hell- for reasons I can’t understand, even the Silent Brothers.”   
  
“I’m likable” Magnus replies, he has a small smirk on his face while he pretends to be brave.    
  
Alec ignores that and reaches for the bowl of cold water Magnus summoned fifteen minutes ago, and gently dips a cloth into it, pressing the water against his sweating head.    
  
“I do have to tell you though,” Magnus says, his lips are dry and chapped this close up, “that I’m not sure how much longer I can keep my blood levels up. Exsanguination might be a more pressing problem than anything else.”    
  
“Can you please,” Alec starts, sighing heavily, “not use the word exsanguinate when you’re talking about yourself?”    
  
“Is there a better word?”    
  
Alec thinks about it for a second, and says, “probably not, but luckily that won’t be a problem because we’re going to fix it before it gets that far.”    
  
“Speaking of,” Magnus says, laying down fully and closing his eyes, “why are you here? I thought you’d be out busting balls.”    
  
Alec shakes his head ruefully, “unfortunately ley line magic theory and greater demons are a bit above my understanding. I was just slowing Cat and Izzy down, and making them waste time explaining their theories in regular people terms just wasn’t a good way to help you. At least here, I can be with you, try to make things a little less painful, and you can borrow my strength.”    
  
“You’re cute,” Magnus says, his eyes still closed as he talks, his lips just barely parting to form words.    
  
Alec smiles fondly, as worried as he is, now that he is at Magnus’ side the problem feels solvable. Magnus’s skin under his hand, cold and clammy it may be, remind Alec that for the moment Magnus is breathing.    
  
Alec opens his mouth to respond when Magnus shoots up suddenly and leans over the bed to grab the bucket next to him. He gags violently, the scent of blood and bile filling the space. Magnus’s body trembles as tears of pain and frustration edge at the corners of his eyes.    
  
“How much longer do you think you can hold up?” Alec asks softly, he wants an honest answer.    
  
Magnus shakes his head as he lays back down, “honestly, Alexander, it’s a miracle that I’ve even lasted this long.”    
  
“That is because you’re the most stubborn person on Earth,” Alec replies, filling his voice with false confidence. “That still doesn’t answer my question though.”    
  
“I’m giving myself probably another half an hour before I don’t have the strength to replenish my blood,” Magnus says, his voice calm and even.    
  
Alec pulls out his phone to check if Izzy has any messages, his heart clenching when he has no new notifications.    
  
“Give me a second,” Alec says, and Magnus gives a disinterested hum as he seems to slip into a light slumber. Alec moves swiftly out of the room, hoping not to wake him up.    
  
He punches Izzy’s number, and it rings for a moment, before she answers, breathless, “Alec! How is he?”    
  
“Not great,” Alec says, understating drastically. “Please tell me you have a solution.”    
  
“I think we’re close,” she says, distracted. “The problem is Lilith didn’t corrupt the Ley Lines in a straightforward, “poisoning the well” way, it is just affecting Magnus. So, short of temporarily redirecting the entire line and letting it reset, we don’t know what to do.”    
  
“So why don’t we just do that?” Alec asks.    
  
Izzy goes silent for a moment, “are you asking me why we aren’t redirecting a line of pure archaic magic?”   
  
“Magnus did it once,” Alec reminds her.    
  
“Yeah!” she says, slightly hysterical, “He’s  _ Magnus _ . We don’t have anyone else who can do that!”    
  
“Can’t Caterina?”    
  
Izzy makes a noise in the back of her throat, “Maybe! But if she can’t, she’ll be burned alive. Magnus would never, ever forgive us if that happened.”   
  
Alec wants more than anything to remind her that what Magnus thinks won’t matter if they aren’t able to actually save him. He shoves it down.    
  
“What if she had help? I can give her my strength, or Clary can. I mean Clary has pure Angel blood! That has to count for something. Or, we both can. Come on, Izzy- we have a solution! We just need to make it work. I am not letting him die because we weren’t creative enough to save him! Fuck that.”    
  
Alec takes a deep breath, he didn’t even realize he started yelling at some point. Izzy goes silent on the other end, and says, “Let me talk to Cat. I’ll call you back.”    
  
When he walks back in, Magnus is still asleep. His skin is paler than Alec has ever seen it, and now that he is getting closer he can see that Magnus’s body is shaking violently, and Alec can see why. He has sweat through his blanket and the sheet underneath, the cool fabric feeling undoubtedly worse against his overheated skin.    
  
“Hey,” Alec says softly, as Magnus stirs. He blinks up, confused and slow like he isn’t sure exactly where he is.    
  
“Hey, yourself,” he says after a moment. His voice is rough and dry, so Alec gently helps him up and gives him water.    
  
“We have a solution,” Alec says eventually.    
  
Magnus turns to him as sharply as he can, “really? That is wonderful, what is it?”    
  
Alec hesitates. He knows Magnus if he implies that either he or Cat will be in any danger, he’ll riot (as much as his weakened body will allow). Alec spends a second more, hedging his bets before responding, “I’ll tell you when it’s confirmed. Izzy is talking to Cat about it right now.”    
  
As he says that, his phone pings. Alec glances down, and he sees a text from Izzy, with a simple “Come upstairs. Cat agreed.”    
  
Alec swallows nervously but goes to put his phone back in his pocket. “Cat just agreed. I have to go upstairs to help out, I’ll come back when it’s done.”    
  
“When what is done?” Magnus asks nervously. He has a weak grip on Alec’s wrist, his shaking cold hand on Alec’s pulse point solidifies what he has to do. He would do anything for Magnus, this is easy.    
  
Alec gently pulls out of Magnus’s grasp, “we found a solution for the Ley Lines.”   
  
Magnus makes an impatient noise, “Well, what is the solution.”    
  
“I’ll tell you later,” Alec says, pressing a kiss against Magnus’s chapped, cold lips which are parted slightly in outrage.    
  
“No,” Magnus says, his voice haughty and imperial, “you will tell me right now, Alec.”    
  
“We’re going to redirect the Ley Line to let it reset,” Alec says in a rush as he continues towards the door.    
  
“And by we, you don’t mean… You can’t mean…” Magnus says, his eyes going wide. He tries to pull himself up, desperate to stand. Alec rushes back to push him down gently.    
  
“We’ll be fine, I’m going to give her my strength. It’s going to be fine, and I’ll come right back when we’re done.”   
  
“Alec,” Magnus says urgently. “This is dangerous, Cat has Madzie, you can’t let her… Not for me. Please, I’m not worth this.”    
  
Alec shakes his head, “I’m sorry you feel that way, Magnus. But we all disagree. You are more than worth this. Besides, you once did this by yourself, I think the two of us can handle it.”    
  
Magnus shakes his head again, his eyes are wide with terror, and Alec feels terrible for a moment before he shakes it out. Magnus dying isn’t an option, so they will do what it takes.    
  
He walks towards the door without looking back, he can hear Magnus’s panicked breathing as he walks away and everything in his body wants to turn back and pull Magnus into his arms but he can’t. They don’t have the luxury of time.    
  
When he gets upstairs, Caterina, Izzy, Clary, and Jace are already there. Izzy is standing by the metal lever while Clary stands to the right of Cat and Jace guards the door. 

  
“I’m going to need both of you,” Cat says sharply, looking between Clary and Alec. “I am going to need to hold it for a full five minutes, much longer than I will be able to stand alone.”    
  
With that, she pulls her sleeves up and gestures for Clary and Alec to each grab an outstretched forearm. Her fingers spread wide as she gets ready to channel the energy through her.    
  
“On my count,” Cat says, her eyes fixed firmly in front of her. “One… Two… Three… Now.”    
  
Izzy flips the lever, and as soon as she does, pure white energy begins coursing through Cat. Alec feels the magic under her skin, burning and intense, so he immediately channels his own power, forcing it through her and allowing the magic to travel through him as well.    
  
It is agony, he can’t imagine that Magnus once did this by himself because the pain is unreal. It is like pressure on all sides, threatening to burst his skull, the magic is white hot and heavy. Alec will never again be curious about what it would be like to be covered in molten lava.    
  
Time stretches and snaps, popping in and out of Alec’s head like daisies. It could be seconds or hours, but all Alec can focus on is Magnus. He breathes through the pain and thinks about Magnus’s weak, cold hand on his wrist and knows that he has to stand his ground.    
  
When it ends, Alec collapses slightly, as to Clary and Cat. Distantly, he hears Izzy run frantically up to them, gently pulling Alec back up.    
  
“Did it work?” Alec manages.    
  
“We won’t know until we…” Izzy starts, before cutting herself off slightly.    
  
“Yes, I daresay it did work,” a new voice cuts into the room.    
  
Alec turns around, his face already split into a weak smile because standing on the door frame, leaning heavily, and still clearly weak, is Magnus. The blood loss and, the physical pain of the poisoning remain evident in the tired tilt of his eyes, but he’s standing, and he looks like he has already regained some strength.    
  
“Oh thank the Angel,” he hears Clary say, her voice thick with tears.    
  
Alec moves without meaning to until he’s in front of Magnus and pulling him into a bear hug, “Thank the Angel. I love you so much. I am so, so glad it worked.”    
  
“My hero,” Magnus says with a dry twist on his lips, but his eyes give his act away. They are shining with love and worry. “Never do that again though, Alexander. If I find out that you have endangered Caterina ever again…”   
  
“Hey, old man,” Cat says cutting in. “It was my idea too, don’t blame the infant.”    
  
Alec rolls his eyes, “Yeah. We had to do something, what was the other option?”   
  
Magnus raises his eyes pointedly, “fine. Thank you all very much. God knows that dying like that would have been humiliating. Not at all my style.”    
  
Alec opens his mouth to say something, but what comes out instead is a sob, because Magnus is right there. He’s standing, and joking, even though he is in a thin t-shirt and loose pants he has never looked more like himself, or more beautiful.    
  
Magnus’s eyes turn back to him in an instant and Alec is pulled back into his arms. The smell of rot that was under Magnus’s skin before is dissipating, leaving behind his natural scent and it makes Alec shake even more.    
  
“I think,” Magnus says, “it might be time for all of us to go to bed.”    
  
Alec nods into Magnus’s shoulder, “that sounds like a great idea.”    
  
When they are back in Alec’s room at the institute, and after Magnus has showered and changed, Alec lets himself breathe. Seeing Magnus come so close to death, so close that if they had been slower, he could have died in a brutal, painful, way, it terrifies him.    
  
Alec already knows he is going to have nightmares about this for years, but for the moment, Magnus is settling next to him, tired and warm. His heartbeat is steady in his chest, and his breathing is constant, and it is better than any symphony ever composed.    
  
“I love you,” Magnus says softly, his head is resting on Alec’s shoulder, so the soft puffs of air hit his neck.    
  
“Magnus,” Alec starts, swallowing hard. “I love you, too. I love you more than you can even imagine.”    
  
“Thank you for saving my life,” Magnus continues, his voice still soft.    
  
Alec pulls Magnus close, so his body is resting more entirely on top of Alec like a sizeable muscular blanket. “Trust me when I say, there was no other choice.”    
  
  
  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently all I write now is plotless hurt/comfort, huh? 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Also, if you're in the mood for some Hot Takes about season 3B when it comes out, come follow me @lorenzobane on Tumblr


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